Wholeness, not Perfection.

Whole people create whole families. In whole families there are no unwanted children.

But what does that look like, really? What is a “whole” family? A family with no issues? No struggles, no pain? Nope, actually the opposite. Today we’re going to dig into the topic of wholeness, and discover that it really is far from “perfection”. This quote shouldn’t leave you comparing yourself or your family to other people or families that look more “put together”. Everyone has their own story and process.

If God was interested in us reaching perfection, I think He would have given up on us a long time ago. We actually tend to be perpetually not perfect, as hard as we may try. This is because perfection is a destination. An end result. A success story. And all of us are perfectly situated right in the middle of our own messes. When one mess is dealt with, many times we find just ourselves stuck in another one.

God is a God of process. He really loves the journey, as messy and clumsy as it may be. Choosing Him in the middle of the journey is the pursuit of wholeness. It starts with acknowledging our lack, and trusting Him to fill that space with his goodness. Perfection backs you into a corner. Wholeness takes you by the hand, and walks the journey with you.

There have been so many times in my life that I’ve exhausted myself trying to be perfect. I try to juggle everything perfectly, achieve balance in every area, be the best person in all of my relationships, and I just end up frustrated and disillusioned. In these moments, God shows me in his kindness that I’m simply afraid of failure. I’m afraid that if I’m not perfect, I’ll let Him down. What beautiful freedom to realize that I couldn’t be further from the truth.

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Wholeness looks like taking the Father by the hand, looking straight at my mess, and still acknowledging that He is good, that I am worthy, and that I am good enough to be fully loved. It looks like completely opening up my heart to the kindness of the Lord, trusting that he’ll hold it better than I could.

As a ministry, we fight hard for wholeness in every area. Instead of performance and metrics that measure success, we prioritize family, connection, and transparency. We’ve found that if we start with friendship with God and connection with our families, beautiful work will follow. That when we decide to fight for healthy families, we’ll create a culture that fosters wholeness.

When a family is whole, regardless of the mess, divorce isn’t an option. Abortion isn’t even a consideration. Children aren’t abandoned or rejected. Addictions and abuse cease because people know who they are. They’ve dropped the fear of failure, rejection, and abandonment, and chosen connection, faithfulness, and trust. When people know who they are, love fills all the voids that used to look like brokenness. Lives are changed. Communities are changed. Nations are transformed. This kind of transformation is our dream. These are the miracles we pursue. This is the framework of an orphan-less world.